Angels and Bastards

This is something I was always planning to write. My journey of the past 15 months. Lessons learnt, relationships made and broken, happy hours and restless nights, intellectuals and psuedo intellectuals, angels and bastards...

Coming to MICA was perhaps my way escaping the reality. The atmosphere did seem surreal at the beginning and the feeling got more acute with time. Fitting into a new place is not always easy but that was not the difficult part here. Adjusting to the ever changing behaviors and misplaced idiosyncracies however, was. The long walks in the night seemingly drived my life and it was as though the life source was sapped along with the abrupt end of those walks. Unrest replaced my once serene mind and life would be never as good again.

U never know when u click with people who become your best friends. This time It happened online at 2'0 clock on an otherwise boring September night by chance. After more than an year and a zillion mugs of coffee and countless hours of cribbing and complaining later, I believe Mishu is one person who I can always count on ( though not on sticking to coffee plans :) ).

A family away from family, i thought was a phrase that has no literal meaning. But here I am, a part of the first family of PGPCME. A family with all the trappings of a 'K' serial from scheming couples to spurned lovers. The proceedings could not have gotten more dramatic. What would I remember from here?? Lot of them, some good some not so. The shared Maggi n fried rice [courtesy Niki], the mid night movie shows [Karzzzz...!!], the saturday night eat outs, hogging the biryani meant for the whole 'family' [that would be me and Nimit :P], gettin beaten up for doing that, the trip to West Bengal, getting lost in the marshy jungles of Sunderban, assignments shared, fruitbeer and manekchowk in the late night, broken dreams and reality checks, taking the brunt for some one else, pouring my heart out to Mishu on terrace, just being there for each other, the list would go on.

It wasn't all angels and saints though. Some don't waste an opportunity to backstab, perhaps it is a way of life for a few. Hollowness and indifference were to be found in the most unexpected and unlikliest places. I don't know if experience makes a person better or bitter, don't even know if it has made me a different person. But I have learnt. To introspect, to give, to forgive, to apologize, to explain, to enjoy, to endure, to assimilate, to be what I am. whatever I will be tomorrow, I would owe part of that to every one who taught me how to be and how not to be, every one who loved me and hurt me, every one I liked and hated.

I would like to read this one day once i detach myself from the events here, would I still be thinking this way? Would I be more bitter? May be I would laugh it away but the feelings and views don't matter much when expressed at a wrong time and this, is the right time for these ramblings.